Currently Reading Mansfield Park (Penguin Classics) By Jane Austen see related

When you make a choice there is loss involved.  You close the door on a myriad of other possibilities.  It can leave someone anxious, fearful and trepidatious.  In my world, it is not the lack of choice that is so terrifying, it is the multiplicity of it.  In a few months, Lord willing, I'll be finished with seminary.  The past three years of dreaming, praying, discussing this day will come and I'll will be faced with the choice of what to do next.  Do I go overseas or stay here?  Do I stay single for a while or get married?  Do I go with the church or mission?  Will I miss my calling and end up working at starbucks?  What will the rest of my life be like?

Having endless possibilities and dreams can be intoxicating....  Always dreaming and never doing is my biggest fear.  I know that when I set my hand to the plow there will be no turning back.  All dreams will have to be given up, when the call of God finally takes hold of me.  I can't hide contradictory dreams somewhere in my head like a drunk hides a bottle, saving it for a rainy day when I can simply ponder..."What if I did this...then I'd be here...."  When the choice is made, I will follow through.

Someone else once said to me, never give up dreaming.  Even if those dreams seem to be out of reach, never stop dreaming.  Maybe that is just the idealism of youth, or maybe that is how we stay young we keep having dreams.  We set our hands on the plow and don't look back, but look forward in anticipation on how old dreams will be revamped and revitalized into something new and something great.  God is the God of dreams, He is the God of the impossible, the God of the out of reach....

Still, with every choice comes loss.  Which choices will result in the least amount of loss?  Is that even the right question to ask?  I know in my heart that God is in charge of all this, and while I sit here and type my reflections I'm not worried.  My life has not turned out the way I thought it was going to, and I'm excited about that. 

Currently Watching Sleepy Hollow By Johnny Depp, Christina Ricci, Miranda Richardson, Michael Gambon, Casper Van Dien see related

This past Wed. in the New York Times there were two interesting articles.  The first one was about the new breakthrough in stem cell research.  The controversey about stem cell research is that stem cells are cells that can grow into anything.  You could grow your own liver, heart, or potentially any organ with the right genetic switches turned on in the cell.  This could potentially be a medical breakthrough in diseases like alzheimers and parkinsons.  The problem is that to get stem cells you have to have to kill an existing embryo to get the stem cells.  This obviously has been a hot topic issue in politics, ethics, religion, and all of the above.  However, this past week two independant scientists published that they may have found an alternative to embryonic stem cell research.  You can read the article here:  http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/21/science/21stem.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

The process takes skin cells, adds 4 genes to the cell and it creates stem cells.  It will be interesting to hear in the next couple months what their peers will say about the process, and whether it will give the same quality stem cells found in embryonic stem cell research.  There are a couple of kinks, for instance, one of the genes is a retrovirus that they have to introduce into the cell for it to become a stem cell.  This retrovirus can cause cancer to the host.  They say that with enough time and research they can work out these kinks.  Politically this will make the white house breathe easier, as well as take this issue from being a hot button ish.  It will also be something that Christians can take an interest in, that we can take a stand for life and that we can find alternatives if we invest the time and energy.

I don't know if this new stem cell thing will be viable in the end.  However, this to me is a great example of how Christians treat issues politically.  I may need help articulating what I am thinking, but we take an issue like stem cell research which for many people has a lot of promise (whether it is perceived or actual promise) and the stand we take is based on protecting the embryo.  In taking this stand we do not provide alternatives.  In stem cell research, the only thing you can do is hope that an alternative like the one above can be offered, but the issue of abortion is one in which Christians scream out about the right to life, but I wonder how many Christian are involved in reforming the foster care system that seems to be wreaking havoc on children in our country.  Being pro-life seems to be the right belief, but the right action is more than believing the right things, but doing the right things.  Not just opposing abbortion but standing against the systemic issues that cause abortion in our society as well as the foster system.  I wonder how many Christians take part in the active solution of adopting children.  Will they be the same people that are picketing abortion clinics? 

In this next article I'm hoping to hear what Kot thinks about this:

On the same day of the stem cell article, on the front page there was also an article about the appearance in court of Kaing Guek Eav, a member of Pol Pot's regime that is responsible for the murder of thousands in Cambodia.  This man was responsible for sending people to the killing fields.  I learned that most of these guys have only recently been caught in the past ten years.  This man was in jail with no trial for 8 years.  When he mentioned that his human rights were violated people watching the proceedings on television just laughed.  I'm sure man people, families of the deceased are happy that this man has finally been brought to justice.

What I found interesting is the Eav gave his life to Christ in 1996.  Some evangelical missionaries shared the gospel and he responded.  From what I've been reading he has been cooperative to a fault, many of the other leaders that have recently been captured are nervous about how honest he is.  At the end of the day, it seems that this guy is a brother in Christ and will be spending eternity with us.  This is both sobering as well as a disturbing thought.

Kaing Guek Eav is like the Hitler of Cambodia, if not a Hitler, maybe a Goering or comparable to any of the higher ups in the Khmer Rouge government.  He had ordered the torture and mass murder of 144,000 Cambodians.  I don't know the full story, my history in this area is week, but this was a bad dude.  Does it bother anyone that now that he has come to Christ, his sins are forgiven.  The torture and murder of thousands has been absolved by the blood of Christ.  I know what I am supposed to believe as a follower of Christ, and I believe it with all my heart that the grace of God has reconciled me with God.  I know that I am a sinner in need of grace.  But it seems crazy to me that the blood of Christ can even cover genocide.  I've had friends who were Cambodian immigrants fleeing from the Khmer Rouge's insanity.  They had family members enter into the killing fields and never come out.  Many of them have embraced Christ as SAviour and Lord, what is the porcess look like for them in forgivng this man and also realizing that he will spend eternity with us?  It's disturbing to me, because in my humanity I would say that this guy deserves to rot for all that he has done.  What if you and I got to heaven and Adolph Hitler was there, because he did a deathbed conversion?  Would that be fair?  Grace is not fair and these type of things are always an example of that.  Its something I both thank God for, and then I just don't get, but I know I need it!

Currently Watching Serendipity By Kate Beckinsale, John Corbett, John Cusack, Jeremy Piven, Molly Shannon see related

I  just watched Serendipity.  It is one of my favorite movies in the world!  I love it!  Beside the fact that I think Kate Beckinsale is the second most beautiful woman in the world, but I've always loved the idea of fate bringing people who were meant to be together no matter what circumstances lay before them.  The idea of God bringing two people together who were really meant to be together has always touched my heart.  I know it's cheesy, but I don't think that that is a bad thing to be cheesy about.  In fact, I think I need that, to believe that God will align the planets and bring the right person to me and me to her.  I wrote a song about it once (while incorporating the chorus to earth angel).  But I also think people can be disobedient to God and not submit to Him and thus short circuit a serendiptious encounter.  But I also believe there is a time for all things to come into being.  That is why it is a journey of faith, it is blind and we don't always see where we will land when we jump.  But I'm a jumper, I look after I leap.  I feel like I'm falling now, hoping that her gentle arms will catch me...